Maybe...

I started Annie yesterday and must say that I was pleasantly surprised by the talent that was chosen for this production. Not being able to be at the auditions caused me some dismay as to how the performs would sing but never fear three of the leads so far are very talented. I meant to start a vlog the other day but was so stressed about it I couldn't focus.

I have been away from my computer for a while and not in the mood to blog but I am back. It might have something to do with the fact that I watched "Julie & Julia" last night or it could be that I want to write. I wonder what kind of a countdown I could do. The Great Operas, an Analytical Approach to the Masters; Broadway Musicals of the 1940's; Listen to my entire musical collection and write about my favorite moments on each recording. The possibilities are endless. So readers, all 5 of you, what would you think is interesting? Besides my daily activities.

Oh, I visited my good friend Ms. Darbus downtown the other day. She is jumping head first into her new job, changing the world! I look forward to getting to sit down and visit with her. Such an optimist and so much fun to listen to her life stories. We always have so much fun gabbing and laughing.

Currently looking for a job...know of any available?

I am going to go transpose "Tomorrow" down a half step to match the performance track orchestrations. Luckily my computer can do that for me without too much fuss!

What to do, what to do?

Last week I finished up my run as Grumio in "Babes in Toyland, Barnaby's Story" by Mark Norwood. I was a lot of fun and really great to work with the author on this production. It will be another 6 months before I have the opportunity to work with this company again.

My next job, Music Director for "Annie". Rehearsals begin in a few weeks but principle music rehearsals begin next week (or as soon as I get schedules out) and it will be exciting.

My truly awesome sister bought me a Flip video camera for Christmas. Soon I will be adding video to the blog! Which will make it easier for me to update this blog. Look forward to some amazing rehearsal footage!

Dude!

Please save all the "Where's my Car!" references to high school students. In my current show I say "Dude" a total of 27 times according to the script. And I am sure that I have added a few extras here and there. It is one of the easiest roles I have had. And the hardest. The other day my scene partner went up on his lines and since he carries the actual plot in his half of the dialogue we froze. Those of you that are actors know how horrifying this can be. There we were with a paying audience, facing each other, with horror written all over our faces. "Dude" doesn't exactly jar any memories when it is said as much as I do. Our only hope was for me to pick a place in the script to jump to that he would be able to find me. Luckily one of those places was just a few lines down from where we were. I told him during rehearsals that he can't screw up since I can't really help him. This was our first big test. Did the audience know that we had screwed up? Maybe, but we kept moving and hoped that they would just assume it was part of the plot.

The next night we ran our entire scene before the show just to make sure we had it under control again. One of the great, and frustrating, things about our theater company is that the show is watched every night by the director and we get notes on how to change things. Blocking is being revised, delivery, characterization, everything is molded until we have a "perfect" show. My scene partner and I try to run our "notes" into our scene before the show each night so that we don't have to worry about them in front of the audience. Trust me it is hard to run a new set of blocking in front of an audience without rehearsing it.

I am rambling but I wanted to get something posted. More on the show later.

When it rains, it pours.

What happened to your car?

Yes, I am yet again without a vehicle. Yay me... On my drive to the theater last week my hood flew open and crashed my windshield. Needless to say, all the funds I had been saving for my big move will now be used to pay for car repairs.

Where are you working?

Oh, no where. That's right, I'm unemployed yet again.

What are you going to do?

Same thing we do every night Pinky; try to take over the world!

Okay maybe that last statement isn't 100% correct. But close. I am going to keep on going. I start job hunting on Friday. Not to worry, you can still see me at the theater doing my thing. That wasn't the job that I lost. Currently I am at my future home. I say future because I don't actually live here yet... I have to find a job and then I can move. My good friend, David Bowie, and I are going to be living together. As soon as I find a job. Did I mention I was looking for a job?

Auditions are coming up rather quickly for Spelling Bee... whatever shall I sing?!?!? If I don't get Spelling Bee then I will be taking a short break from acting. However, I will be producing/tech directing Cemetery Club in January. I have spent the day working on budgets and reports from the last show. I will keep you all up to date as I move along the process.

For tickets to my show visit: www.gcplayers.com/2ndspace.html

Two hours before Call, suppose I should find foodage and head to the theater. Chat at you all later.

My Parents say that my future is on the horizon.

"Tell them the horizon is an imaginary line that recedes as you approach it. "

Thank you Mona Lisa Smile for that great quote! And for squashing my dreams! Just kidding. During my commute to and from the theater each day I have an hour and a half to think about anything and everything.

My drive has become routine and fairly monotonous. The worst part of my drive just happens to be the last 5 miles of my trip home. It is a beautiful sight to be sure, but still that part of the drive takes the most out of me. Let me paint you a picture, as round the last few turns in the foothills coming into town you can see the entire city lit up at night. You can see the city from edge to edge in our little valley and it is a fantastic sight. It looks so beautiful and inviting. But then you get closer and you start to see the "flaws", the "imperfections", the "bad". I have lived here most of my life, sure I went away for school (if you call that away) but this has always been my home. So I started thinking how true that quote from Mona Lisa Smile is: "The horizon is an imaginary line that recedes as you approach it."

I have lost count to how many times people have told me that my career or future was on the horizon... and each time I get closer it slips away. Every time I feel like it is just within reach I blink and it is out there again and I have to begin the journey again. We make plans, we build, we organize, we strategize but at the end of the day things do not always work out the way we wanted. Which can be a real shocker to an actor. I began to ponder why we do it to ourselves; not only as actors but as humans beings, what makes us keep pounding our head on the wall hoping that the wall will fall instead of giving us a splitting headache? I couldn't come up with an answer.

Where did those plans for that show I was writing go? Why am I not a full time actor? Why am I still living in this small town? What happened to my so called "vocal career"?

Oh, how those thoughts have hounded me for the past couple of days! Then the other night, as I was driving home, it came to me. Even though the horizon is an imaginary line that recedes as you approach it the objects don't! CAMP ALERT!!! The goals that we set for ourselves may be "out there" and sometimes you may not be able to see them. Perhaps from lack of trying or maybe because there are new adventures that have loomed on the horizon before you reach your destination. Or maybe they are no longer there because you have gotten there and just haven't looked down at your feet. Or maybe you got there and you were too blinded by the flaws and imperfections that you kept on driving, too afraid to stop.

I do it all the time. I am too afraid to stop. Too afraid to see what would happen if I took a leap. Heck, even too afraid to take a baby step. The great thing about dreams is you can almost always turn the car around and go back...as long as you catch it in time.

So, here is to staying positive and driving towards those dreams...

Who handled the Gabor Sisters?

Well, who didn't.

Oh what it would have been to be the one that gets to deliver that line every night. One day! Sorry, let me explain. I had auditioned for Hairspray and was called back for Edna but alas was denied the role (or any role in the show for that matter) and instead wound up getting cast in Charity. What an experience that was! But I am a little bit bummed not to be playing Mrs. Edna Turnblad... I am, however, excited that the part went to my new friend Rich. What excitement he brings to the part. Getting to run lines with him upstairs during offstage time was a blast. Last night was opening and he was a hit! Oh my, I couldn't stop laughing, screaming, crying, cycling through every emotion... you get the point. The cast was phenomenal. Truly a legit production with a talented cast. The ensemble rocked! Maybe I can get some pictures and put them up... I'll write later.

Sharing Time

Wow... cannot believe how incredibly long it has been since I posted last. A lot has been happening in my life the past couple of months. Been working my two regular jobs, rehearsing "Sweet Charity" with GCP, opened "Sweet Charity", ran it and finally closed. With running back and forth to Fresno every day I didn't have time enough to blog.

What is next for me? I auditioned for another GCP production, "Babes in Toyland, Barnaby's Story", a play with music, at 2nd Space and was cast as "Grumio", the equivalent to Le Fou in Beauty and the Beast, except I actually "do" bad things. I initially did not audition for that part but had so much fun at the Call Back for it that I changed my mind about it...the role called for "The Surfer Dude Type"; which we all know is not me. If you come and see the show be prepared for a lot of "dude"-ing from me. At last count I have 27 dudes in a 40 page script. In fact, at the initial auditions one of the readers lost their place and the director called out: "When in doubt, say dude!" Classic. Really looking forward to this production. Same director as "Charity" and a few of the same cast members including Frenchy and Monty. Even "Aunt Tami"! Going to be such a fun experience to get to develop a character and play it for an entire show. Which is different from ensemble work where you play multiple characters in a production.

Talk of the Avenal Center is beginning to become more promising and cannot wait for plans to become finalized. Once they do I will be moving to the City to be closer to the theater and to friends. I will post a few production pics as soon as I get them uploaded.

Cannot wait to see "Hairspray" on opening night!!! The production looks legit.

Follow

Hey guys!! Just a quick word for those of you with twitter accounts. Follow @RogerRockas for fun trivia and updates about the goings on at Roger Rockas Dinner Theater and Good Company Players.

Quote of the Day

"These pants should really come with directions."

What! Our director said this during notes last week. As sort of a back handed comment. But the more I thought about it the more I thought that pants should come with instructions. Who says that we should wear them with the zipper in front? We are taught that from an early age but what if we wanted to wear them backwards? Who would be there to stop us? NO ONE! But if we had instructions then it would be impossible to screw up. Wait, then you have the few people that don't read or follow directions. What then?!?! Oh, the world may end...

And the Reviews are in...

Recently a show that I am a part of was reviewed by a writer...and I don't fully agree with his perceptions of the show. As an ensemble member, I get to see a large portion of the show from the wings and from the production monitors in the dressing areas. And if I, having seen the show for the past 2 months in rehearsals, can still enjoy it and be captivated by the performers than he can get off his high horse and appreciate the work.

True the book itself has some inherent problems and the score lacks a few things but the actual performance that was given onstage has to be reviewed seperately from all of that. So at the outset, let us discuss a few problems with the Book... the show was originally adapted from a film and had to be scrubbed clean for American audiences Due to the changes the main character isn't afforded the usual character developments...she starts as a naive young woman and she ends as a naive young woman, if not slightly more empowered. The story progresses through vignettes or as a cut-away in movies, scenes melting from one into the other...the problem is that one scene is resolved before the audience is thrust into another. With little, if any, blackouts or scene change opportunities the viewer is unable to formulate thoughts of plausibilty and resolution...and therefore I believe are left wanting more from the scene than is given. The supporting roles are given very little time to create valid stories and connections with the title character. For example, the role of the "Owner" is given very little time in Act 1 to connect with the girls and with the title character, yet at the end of Act 2 is thrust into the limelight and expected to be able to emote with the ensemble. It is as if the writers could find no other way to culminate his work...so poof, magical ending!

But enough about the work itself...our actors, creative team, and crew have been working hard on this project and to allow some critic to come in and tell us how to do our job is ridiculous. I stand by our lead and our ensemble and ask that critic to stand up and show us what he has. You know that old saw, "Those who can't, teach" well perhaps it should be "Those who can't act, critique". When was the last time our critic was on a stage? On a creative team? Write a theater piece? Seems like the only thing he does is write about other peoples flaws!

I have been doing some thinking and decided that reviewers think that they need to be harsh...who wants to read something filled with sunshine and daffodils? Think about it, who is the most talked about judge on American Idol? Simon. Why? Because he is a jerk! No one would like him if he praised everyone... He builds up the tension with back handed remarks and then when he gives praise (often where it shouldn't be given) the crowd goes crazy and a star is born! Hmmm...could that be what our reviewer does? Puts one show down so that his next review can be perceived as a great show? Then again could he be 100% right and the shows he reviews actually are horrible?

But either way, we continue to do our job. We press on and go out each night and give it our best. And hope that the audiences will forgive the often weak story. Maybe they know better than the critic and will love the show for what it is...a great evening of theater.

I know I promised quotes from the rehearsal hall but this was more pressing. Six show weeks begin tomorrow...how exciting!!!

Time and Time again...

As actors we get to step into different stories and worlds and become someone completely different. It is one of the best experiences in the world. But often times we never leave those worlds or experiences behind when we leave the stage. I am currently in a production at a dinner theater and have made friends and gotten to know a lot of the cast. But there are just some actors that can't leave the drama on the stage.

We all feel that our tasks are the most important...our entrance, our lines, our blocking, and even our props... but without working as a team the show cannot go on. Our lead, Pam, is such an amazing person. Even though she has the lead in our production she is still down to earth, encouraging to the ensemble. Last night, after a particularly stressful Tech/Dress run she had great words of encouragement for myself and a two of my cast mates.

She said "We cannot expect for the show to ride on the shoulders of one or two people. I am not talking about myself but those people doing the scene changes. If they can't get it done in time or correctly, then it wont be right and we all look like we don't know what we are doing. We all need to step up and help out where ever possible, myself included."

Wow! What amazing words coming from the "Star" of our show. How I wish that everyone in our cast could have a tiny bit of the class that she has.

In a run as long as ours it becomes a challenge to not allow myself to fall into the habit of letting things bother me... allowing venting to become backbiting, creating drama offstage. Forgetting, essentially, that our job is to convey a story to our audience. Sure we may not get along with everyone, we may have conflicts with others, we may have a showmance but it is our job to be professional and to get the job done. One of my favorite AA slogans is: "Fake it til you make it!" We are actors...if we can't fake it, who can? So what if you don't like someone make it work.

Next time on Actor on the Verge: "Quotes from The Music Hall"

Happy 4th

I am averaging one post a month. Yes!! Sorry it has been so long. This past couple of weeks have just been absolutely crazy. Between work, rehearsals, and family obligations I don't have any time for my friends. And even fewer hours to spend with myself. Unless you count my daily commute as "me time".

Rehearsals are going well. It is so great to be working with an ensemble who for the most part wants to be there. I wouldn't describe the sets as amazing. In that they aren't visually stunning. But how we work with the sets and how they morph to create a seamless show, becoming a bridge here, a platform there, nightstands, chairs, a carnival ride... and all, basically, in front of the audience. I don't think that there are any blackouts in the entire show, until the ends of the acts.

Last week was a super busy week for me. I got to direct a "reading" of an adaptation of a R&H show with young students. It was a great learning experience for me. The class "master teacher" and I wrote the adaptation and a medley to be used for the show. It was crazy. In three days, I had to give them their blocking, basic characterization, and actually teach them something along the way. All with only 45 minutes a day! Luckily, I had some TAs who would work with the campers in the evenings when they had fee time. The "cast" got to work an extra day and then the performance day, but I had to go on to my "brother's" wedding.

My "brother", Brian, got married this weekend. I was extremely honored to be among those that were in the wedding party. The festivities began on Thursday with the Bachelor and Bachelorette parties. And get the fun times rolling through the actual ceremony on Saturday. The reception was held at the Bride's childhood home and was phenom!!! Have you ever seen a movie with an outdoor wedding? It was like that. With lights strung through the trees, big bulbed lights strung across the reception, the dance floor perfectly centered off the staircase leading from the pool area, beautifully mild weather, no bugs. All the guests mingling. Seriously movie status!

Monday I go in for my first costume fitting... and the show opens in about 3 weeks! Can't wait... As we get closer to production, I am going to try to post more often...but we will see how that turns out.

Overheard at Church...part 2

Those of my readers that know who I am, please yell at me for not posting more often.

This Sunday, being Pentecost, we were discussing the first Pentecost. Basically where the spirit of God comes down and makes them able to speak in all the different languages, yada yada yada...in order to spread the "Good Word". Well, my friend Candace leans over to me and says, "Great, so how does that sermon go? 'Well I've Got Good news...and Bad News'"

And it made me think, where does that saying come from? Does anyone know? I can't seem to find where that phrase actually originated. I will continue to dig into the meaning of it. But for now, I must go home from my long day of work.

Rehearsals start tomorrow for that show I am in!

Overheard at Church... Part 1

For those readers that don't know, I work as a church secretary... while I do not always agree with what churches teach or believe, it pays my bills. Mostly. Until recently I was "only" the secretary working in the office; creating bulletins, powerpoints, newsletters, and the like... Now, however, they have me working as a Sunday morning worship tech. I get to run those fantastic ppts that I create...as such, I am "chained" to a desk for 2 hours. I have since realized that a church service is very much like a theatrical production... there are scripts to be followed, blocking to be done, sound and tech cues. And yet, I am still bored. Because there is a script to follow by the time the sermon actually occurs I have read it, twice! So, in an effort to further my scarf business (more on that later) and to make sure that I don't fall asleep I take my yarn and crochet hook to church and whip out a scarf per service.

Anyway, working sunday mornings offers opportunities to overhear many brilliant stories and funny anecdotes.

This week's comes from my good friend, Candace. This past Sunday was Communion by intinction. That is where you take the bread and dip it in the wine, then eat. Well...she goes and takes Communion and comes back to our seating area and states:

"Usually, Jesus sticks to the roof of my mouth. But I took the crust today!"

What!?!?! Besides being sacrelicious (yes, sacrelicious*) it almost made me burst out laughing during one of the more solemn moments of the church service. But that is why I love Candace. I get a good 3-8 laughs from her every Sunday. And I, in turn, make her laugh during the sermon. The comment above took the cake for this week but we both had some pretty good one-liners from Sunday.

"Lettuce pray!"
"The Holy Trinity: Iceberg, Arugula, and Spinach"
"What, no dressing!?!?"

"There may not be meat, but we had salad, bread, and wine... not too bad!"
"Are we going to hell? At least there will be meat there. MMMM, barbeque!"

Moral of the story? Just because you don't have moral or religious obligations to go to church doesn't mean that it can't be fun...or at the very least, funny!! Stay tuned for more outrageous hilarity from Sunday Morning.

*sacrelicious ~ when something sacreligious is so hilarious and delicious you cannot pass it up. (i.e. the dancing with crucified Jesus scene from Drop Dead Gorgeous)

How to Solve the World's Problems

Everyone seems to think that solving problems is so hard. And I admit that sometimes it can be extremely difficult, but my dear friend, Ms. Darbus (name has been changed to protect her real identity) and I have come up with a method! It is called the "Darbus & Lazar Show", of course substituting our real names for our pseudo-names, which will hopefully go into production this summer or coming fall. It will be similar to "The View" or "Oprah" but much more fun. A place for the community to express their thoughts, feelings, frustrations. And a place to have our own news reports. Interview local celebrities (or persons of interest) and review everything local. It all stemmed from our monthly coffee dates, during which we discuss theater, art, education, and everything else.

We have discovered that given a cup of coffee (or other appropriate delicious beverage served up at the S'bucks) and a few hours to hash them over we could create a world that everyone could be happy with! Can you imagine having that kind of power?!?!?! I might go a bit crazy with it.

It is so much fun to have someone to talk to about our problems and be able to fix them, even if it is just inside our little world. Everybody has at least one group of friends that you do this with... I like to call them "If we ruled the world..." clubs. The only problem with them is that they don't do anything. A solution is only good if you are willing to go out and impart your wisdom unto the world. So go out there and make your ideas heard! That includes me!

Do you have a "If I ruled the world..." club? Join one and make a difference. But don't just sit there complaining about the way it could have been, or should be... go do it! Write a letter, send an email, record a viral video, do a project, organize an event, DO SOMETHING!

See it isn't that hard to solve all the problems, now is it? You may all thank me now.

Here I go

I have wanted to blog for a while now... and wanted... and wanted. Anyway, with all that goes on in my life I am sure that I can find some pointless tidbit of info to throw in your direction.

Having wanted to do this for such a long time I am now faced with the dilemma of where to start. Should I start with childhood memories? Of middle school? Of College? Of my "professional" life? But I figure those of you reading will probably already know most of these things... so, rather than write in a chronological order (which could be incredibly boring), I have decided to write whatever pleases me.

I sat down today and wrote out a list of things that I could easily "rant" about and came up with a good 12 things. So I broke it down to 1 big post per week, with daily happenings and anecdotes interspersed to fill up the "white" space. That would be 3 months of writing without breaking a sweat!

In fact, as I sit and re-read this post I realize that I make it sound as if I was standing up and actively sat down to write this list... wow, already misleading my readers!

Tomorrow: "How to Solve the Worlds Problems"